writing fantasy fiction

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A typical day at the office

Published November 30, 2012 by jnaomiay

Knock, knock.

Naomi:  Come in.  Oh, hello Thad.  How are you, darling?  I haven’t seen you in a while.

Thad:  No, no, it’s been a long time, Naomi.  I’m great though, really great.  How are you?

Naomi:  Fine Thad, thank you.  What brings you into my office today?

Thad:  Well (Thad sits down and nervously picks at the lint on his pants)  I was hoping that maybe you could write me in on Book 8?  You haven’t finished it yet, have you?

Naomi:  No!  I haven’t even started it.

Thad:  Well, you know…I wasn’t hardly in Golden’s Quest, just a cameo and then even less in Metamorphosis.  Do you think, maybe, possibly you could give me something to do in the next one?

Naomi:  Well, I’ll think about it.  The truth is Thad, you’re a nice guy and all and you were great in the early books but…well, you’ve gotten a bit tiresome and actually…nobody likes Gina.  Nobody ever liked Gina.

Thad:  Hell, I don’t like Gina either!  Can you write her out and just leave me?

Naomi:  No.  I can’t do that.  Look at the backlash I’ve had since I wrote out Caroline.  I’ll ponder this and…wait, I have an idea.  What if I write a prequel novella about you?  We’ll make it when you were young, before you married Gina, maybe even bring your ex-wife Leslie into it.  It could be about how you ended up leaving Earth and going to Rozari where of course, you meet THE MAN.

Thad:  That’d be cool but do we have to bring in Leslie?  I mean, nobody likes Gina, just wait until they meet Leslie.  They’ll hate her.

Naomi:  Let me work on it.  I’ll call you.

Thad:  Thanks Naomi.  I really need the money.  This economy you know…

Naomi:  I know, Sweetie.  Give me a few days.

Thad leaves.  A few minutes later the door opens again.

Naomi:  Sweetheart!  Why am I so fortunate to be graced by your presence today?

Senya:  Have you started Book 8?

Naomi:  No.  Sit down and put out that cigarette.  You know how I hate smoking in my office.  (A cloud of smoke wafts over Naomi’s face)

Senya:  I don’t want any more Viagra jokes.

Naomi:  There was only one.

Senya:  I don’t like being old.

Naomi:  None of us do but you know, time has to happen in the way it has to happen.

Senya:  I am not going to metamorphose into any more pathetic geeks.

Naomi:  Got that.

Senya:  I want you to kill Katie.

Naomi:  What?

Senya:  If you don’t, I will.

Naomi:  Now hold on.  I admit she was very annoying in Metamorphosis but still, you two have a long history together.

Senya:  I would rather have Hannah from the Journey series.  Send Katie there and give me Hannah.

Naomi:  Sorry, Cupcake, but I’m not getting started with that oedipal theme.  Let me work on Katie.  I’ll calm her down and you’ll see, things will be better.

Senya:  How many more books are in my contract?

Naomi:  More.

Silence.  Another cloud of smoke passes in front of Naomi’s face.

Naomi:  (smiling while gritting her teeth) Sugar Plum, do you remember what happened to you in book 1?  How about books 3 &4?  Do you want to go through stuff like that again?

Senya gets up and leaves, slamming the door.

Naomi:  (sighs)  I didn’t think so.