I admit it. I’ve been a bad blogger. I’ve been buried under too many other projects to spend any time blogging here. I apologize profusely. I humbly beg your forgiveness. Because I am so ashamed by my bad blogging, I’m going to offer you, my dear readers, a gift. Today and tomorrow, July 11 – 12, Thad’s Mistakes will be free on Amazon.com. That’s a $1.99 value for absolutely nothing. Get it while supplies last. Click the pic and you’ll be taken right there.
Thad’s Mistakes – A Two Moons of Rehnor Novella
Thad realizes his marriage to Leslie is a colossal mistake. In fact, maybe his whole disastrous life is a giant blunder. Before he knows it, he has two kids and no way out from this trap. Leslie’s exit gives him the opportunity he has been waiting for and so he heads across the stars to join Admiral Tim and Shelly on the planet Rozari.
Jimmy: Hey, can you all just shut up so we can get started please?
Berkan: What’s Jimmy doing here? Where’s Thad?
Jerry: He’s still in recovery.
Jerry: (shrugging) It was pretty bad.
Jimmy: Ok, we’re going to get started. As you all know, I’m Jim Mattson and I’m the acting president of SdK. We’re having this meeting today to discuss where we are going as a company, as a team and as a family because we are all one big happy family, right?
Katie: Cut the corporate bullshit. Why are we here, Naomi?
Naomi: (smiling with annoyance). Good morning to you too, dear.
Senya: Good morning, Naomi.
Naomi: Good morning, love.
Katie: Why is he smoking in here again? I thought we resolved at the last meeting that he had to keep it outside?
Jerry: It smells different today. Different brand, Ron?
Naomi: I said last time and I’ll say it again this time. He can do whatever he wants.
Jimmy: Can we get back to business, please? Naomi wants to discuss where we are going with the series.
Berkan: (pointing) Who’s he?
Berkan: Yeah. You.
Rent: I don’t know.
Katie: You don’t know who you are? Naomi, what’s a red shirt doing in here?
Naomi: He’s not a red shirt, darling. He’s an intern. Senya and I discussed it and we decided Rent needs to attend our meetings now.
Berkan: Well, why is Zem here?
Zem: I am full of water.
Naomi: No, you’re not, sweetheart. This is a board meeting. You can pay attention as well as anyone else.
Zem: Can I have my own book?
Naomi: Maybe. That’s why we are here today. I want to discuss whether we continue the series with more novels and novellas or whether we should do something entirely different, like change genres. I’ve heard Western Romance is very popular, much more so than Scifi/fantasy.
Audible groan from around the table.
Jerry: I thought Ron hated cowboys.
Senya: I like Marlboros.
Katie: (raising hand) I have a problem with Book 9, Treasure Hunt.
Jimmy: (Pounding the gavel) Already? It’s not even released.
Berkan: I have a problem with Treasure Hunt, too.
Katie: Why am I getting so old? I thought my contract said I get to stay young!
Berkan: (grumbling) Well, it’s better than what happens to me.
Senya: Time has to happen…
Katie: Shut your face, dickhead. Why does he get to stay beautiful and I just turn into an old bag who needs plastic surgery?
Naomi: Now, Katie. If you have a problem with your contract, you can have your agent call me…again. Let’s not waste everyone’s time with your personal issues.
Jimmy: (pounding the gavel again) I think we should try to get back on track. So, Naomi, what’s the status on Book 9?
Naomi: End of the month at the latest, Jim. I am aiming for my birthday, June 22, for both ebook and paperback.
Jimmy: Why don’t you all note in your calendar that June 22 is the new release date and Naomi’s birthday.
Jerry: What would you like this year, Naomi?
Naomi: Another Amazon gift card will be fine, Jerry.
Jimmy: Now. How many vote to switch genres to Western Romance?
Jerry: I’m good with that.
Jimmy: Anybody else? Nobody? Okay. I guess that’s it for today, folks. Meeting adjourned.
The Two Moons of Rehnor Novella collection is coming to audiobooks for your listening pleasure. Right now, you can find Meri and Big Red on Amazon, Audible.com, iTunes and wherever audiobooks are sold. Coming this summer will be Space Doctor, Thad’s Mistakes and Taner’s Running Game.
In honor of Number One Son’s birthday on Tuesday, I would like to introduce Big Red, a brand new Two Moons of Rehnor Novella. Actually, neither Number One Son nor his birthday have anything to do with the book. I just needed a reason to launch it today. Actually, I don’t need any reason, but since I launch so many, and it’s all become a bit hum drum and ‘oh yeah another one’, and ‘don’t you have anything better do to with your life than write these silly little books’, and a whole host of other droll comments which I won’t bore you with, here it is. Oh, by the way, Amy Jambor designed this fabulous cover. Oh, and one more thing, Big Red is available on Amazon and Smashwords, and soon to be available everywhere else which means, I’m sorry, it won’t be free.
Big Red – A Two Moons of Rehnor Novella
Luci was big, but she had a pretty face. At least, that is what everyone said. Unfortunately, between Luci’s size, her stuttering and lisps, and the squalid conditions of her family, Luci is doomed to a miserable life. A strange turn of events sends Luci to the city of New Mishnah where Great Aunt Klair takes her in and sets her on the path that will change everything.
Today, I am in pain and must visit the doctor. I am sitting in a white piece of paper on top of another white piece of paper even though it is my leg that is pained and nothing else need be exposed. Solely for this reason, I have chosen to arrive at this appointment dressed in a leotard so that it would not be necessary to disrobe. Never the less, according to the belligerent woman who claims to be a nurse but cannot find my pulse despite how hard she listens, I must wear only this paper. The door opens.
Jerry: Oh, Naomi! I’m so glad you came to see me today.
Naomi: I’m not. Turn the bloody heat on, Jerry, or I swear, you shall be the next one to die.
Jerry: I’m so sorry, Naomi. I can’t. It’s a government mandate that the temperature be set to 62 degrees. Do you want to put your clothes back on?
Naomi: Yes, damnit!
Jerry: Ok, sorry. I’ll just go back outside and wait until you’re ready.
Two minutes later…
Jerry: So, Naomi. (Jerry sits in that wheelie chair thing and pushes his glasses up his nose.) I really do want to talk to you about something.
Naomi: Yes, Jerry, but that’s not why I am here. I am here because my leg hurts. Would you kindly please deal with that first? When I am well medicated, we’ll talk about whatever you want.
Jerry: Sure. No problem. Okay, so where does it hurt? Here?
Naomi: No, the other leg.
Naomi: No, here.
Naomi: No, here.
Naomi: YES, DAMNIT! RIGHT THERE.
Jerry scoots over to the little desk and types on the computer. A prescription spits out. For this, I will pay $112 all going to my deductible.
Jerry: Take one twice a day and apply heat as necessary. Can we talk now?
Naomi: Naproxen and heat. I could have written that myself.
Jerry: I wanted to ask you, Naomi, would it be possible for me to have my own book? I mean, just about everyone else has gotten their own novella, Thad, Taner, Meri, even that guy Reggie who all he ever did was drive a car.
Naomi: He was an extremely significant driver. He was the Royal Driver.
Jerry: Never the less, I think I’m fairly important, at least as much as Thad. What about that new one, Diridan’s Daughter about some girl named Cinda. Nobody ever heard of her before, and now she’s got a whole novella all to herself. It’s not fair, Naomi.
Naomi: Neither is this bill. I should charge a $112 for listening to you whine.
Jerry: Cinda did nothing while I’ve been an integral part of Books 2, 3, 4, 5, and 8.
Naomi: Cinda slept with the Big Guy. That counts for something.
Jerry: I’m not going there. (Jerry raises his hands and backs away)
Naomi: It wasn’t even a consideration. Alright, let me think on this. I warn you though if I write a novella about you, all your dirty laundry is going to come out.
Jerry: What dirty laundry?
Naomi: Mhm. Grandpa Lou?
Jerry: Can’t you leave him out?
Naomi: Nope. I’ll tell you what. I’ll post an excerpt of your story and see if it’s well received.
Jerry: Okay, but try and minimize Lou’s involvement. One more thing, Naomi?
Jerry: Can you call it, Space Doctor? I kinda like that.
Naomi: Alright, Jerry. I see I have used up my government allotted 3.75 minutes of physician time so I will leave you now and place your excerpt on Wattpad and Scribd. We’ll see if anyone likes it.
A brand new novella has just been added to The Two Moons of Rehnor Novella Collection.
Cinda is the daughter of the Almost-Chief Diridan, a great and highly revered warrior who is also a confidant of the king. When Cinda’s mother dies, her father spins out of control, resulting in banishment for the both of them to the distant village of Shrotru. Cinda’s story occurs mid way through The Boy who Lit up the Sky and supplements Senya’s adventures in Karupatani. Only $1.29 on Amazon.com