All posts for the month March, 2014

Naomi’s Meeting with Senya

Published March 23, 2014 by jnaomiay

I am gravely concerned over some recent reviews we have received, and perplexed by the perception communicated in them.  To that end, I have had to set up a meeting with Senya in order to get his advice on how to deal with this most serious situation.  I have scheduled the meeting to take place at the local Starbucks during the midmorning, after the early coffee rush, and before the lunch crowd, so as not be disturbed.  Only the ever present and overly loud hip hop music playing on the speaker system disrupts the otherwise calm atmosphere.

Naomi:  Over here, dear.  I have already got your coffee, a venti black drip, your favorite.

Senya:  (sitting down in the overstuffed chair across from Naomi)  Thank you.

Naomi:  Would you like something to eat too?  A raisin roll or chocolate donut perhaps?

Senya:   No.

Naomi:  I don’t think they allow smoking in here.  State regulations and all that.  You’ll need to put that out.

Senya blows a puff of smoke into the air.  A guy in a green apron comes over.

Starbucks guy:  You’ll need to extinguish that, mister.

Senya drinks his coffee, ignoring the Starbucks guy.  He takes another drag on his cig.

Starbucks guy’s eyes roll back in his head.  He sways on his feet a few moments, before jolting awake.

Starbucks guy: Whoa!  More coffee, dude?

Senya:  Go away.  What do you want, Naomi?

Naomi:  Don’t be cruel, darling.  He’s only trying to do his job.

Senya exhales more smoke into the air.

Naomi:  (picking at a tiny piece of lint on her shirt)  It’s the reviews.  I’m terribly concerned.  After all this time, we’re getting a spate of reviews saying that the book is about pedophilia.  Obviously, it’s not.  Of course, it’s not.  You dispatch the evil bastard in the first chapter.  Extremely well done for a six year old, I might add.

Senya drinks his coffee.

Naomi:  And, the whole point, of course, is to demonstrate what sort of horrid world you came from, to show a contrast to what Rehnor would become later on under your stewardship.

Senya takes a drag on his cig.

Naomi:  There’s also the contrast to Katie’s world, her simple, ordinary, suburban existence on Earth, so carefree as compared to your daily fight to survive.

Senya:  And your point is?

Naomi:  Oh, I don’t know.  (Naomi fumbles with her napkin)  I guess I was just trying to say that this world is full of evil.  Bad things happen to good people, and all that.  There are no unicorns and lollipops, sunshine and rainbows.  We must always be on our guard, vigilant, fighting against the monsters in society, and sometimes, in ourselves.

Senya tamps out his cigarette.

Naomi:  And, Mr. Ay says in the next book I should have you do some yard work.  How do you feel about mowing the lawn or shoveling dirt?

Senya:  I despise yard work.  Are we finished?

Naomi:  Yes. dear.

Senya leaves.

Naomi:  Good talk, dear.  Thanks for that.  I knew you could bring some clarity to the situation.



SdK Board Meeting Minutes – March 2014

Published March 5, 2014 by jnaomiay

SdK Board Meeting Minutes

March 2014

Members present:  Naomi, Ron, Steve, Rent, Katie, Taner, Jimmy, Luka

President Jim Mattson calls the meeting to order.  Jim is seated at the head of the table.  Naomi sits across from him at the other end.  Ron is on Naomi’s right smoking a cig.  Luka is on Naomi’s left smoking, but not a cig.  There are four empty chairs between Ron and Katie.  Everyone else is sitting on the other side.

Jim:  Hello everyone.  It’s been a while hasn’t it?  Do we want to spread out a little bit better around the table? 

Jim waves his arms and indicates the empty chairs along one side of the table.  No one moves.

Jim:  Okay.  Well, this place is a little bit nicer than our last meeting in the Kiwanis basement, right?  Right, guys?  It’s great having our own building again, even if it is a little small.

Naomi:  (Holding her head).  Right Jim.  Please, just start the meeting.

Jim:  Absolutely.  Yes, thank you, Naomi.  And, thanks for the coffee and donuts.  Mmmm.  Top Pot donuts, my favorite.  Help yourself, guys.

Nobody moves.

Jim:  Right.  So the first order of business is just a couple of announcements.  As I’m sure you’re all aware, Rivalry was released in January.  The first comic book was released in February, and just this week, Thirteen was released.  Also, The Boy who Lit up …

Katie:  Wait!  Stop everything!

Jim:  Yes, Kate?

Everyone looks at Kate except for Ron who appears to be asleep except for that fact that he is smoking.

Katie:  I want to know what in the hell kind of stupid name is Thirteen.

Naomi:  It’s a stupid name.  Leave it at that.

Luka snickers.

Katie:  Well, why the hell did you use it then? 

Jim:  Kate, simmer down.

Katie:  No!  I want to know why she named that blasted book Thirteen?  She could have named it anything.  She could have called it Katie’s Escape, but no, she had to come up with that ridiculous Thirteen.

Steve:  Except that it wasn’t about Katie’s escape.

Katie:  Yes, it was Steven.

Rent:  Well, technically only a small por…

Katie: Shut up, Rent.

Rent looks stunned.

Steve: What’s with you?

Katie: Nothing!

Luka snickers.

Steve: Did you go back in time to that hormonal period again?

Jim:  Steve, please.

Ron lights a fresh cigarette, and sighs with boredom.

Naomi: That’s enough.  I named the book Thirteen because if I had named it what I really wanted to call it, Amazon wouldn’t have published it. 

Jim:  And, what would that have been, Naomi?

Naomi: Shit Happens. 

Silence around the table except for Luka’s snickering.

Katie: Shut up, Luka. 

Luka:  Why should I?  Do you want to kill me again, Kate?

Katie: (Jumping up) As a matter of fact, I’d like to kill every damn one of you. 

Ron: (whispering to Naomi)  Did you take away her guns?

Naomi: (whispering back)  I left her with a laser.  Should I get rid of it?

Ron (shrugging):  Let’s see who she kills first.

Jim (banging the gavel):  Katie, please sit down.

Katie glares at everyone, especially Ron, before once again taking her seat.

Naomi:  Thank you, Jim.  The fact is, I have named the book Thirteen and that is the name which shall remain.  Please continue with your announcements, Jim.

Rent: (raising his hand)  I have a question, Naomi.

Naomi: Yes, Rent?

Rent: How do we keep acquiring so many new relatives?

Steve:  Why do we, Naomi?  It was bad enough when Rent came.

Katie:  I’m not giving birth to any more, Naomi.  I told you that.  It’s not in my contract.

Naomi:  I know that, Kate.  Your agent reminds me daily of the intricacies of your contract.

Katie:  (Jumping up and pointing at Ron) I don’t want him having any more children either.

Luka:  What about me?

Katie:  I don’t give a damn what you do.

Luka:  We’ll see about that.

Katie:  (Waving her finger at Ron)  I mean it, Naomi.  If he starts screwing around on me, if he turns into the dickhead I always said he was, I’m liable to walk out of here and never come back.

Ron: I’m okay with that.

Steve:  I am too.

Rent: I…

Naomi:  Children!  Katie, perhaps you and I should have a private meeting in my office after we adjourn here.

Luka snickers.

Katie:  What does that mean, Naomi? 

Naomi:  It means, we’re going to meet in my office when we have finished in here.

Katie:  No, it doesn’t.  It means you’re caving again.  You’re going to do exactly what he wants.  He wants to sleep around.  He wants to relive his wild bachelor days, and I’m going to remain on the other side of the galaxy while he screws every chick he can get his hands on.

Luka:  What about me?  May I do that too?

Naomi sighs heavily.

Jim:  Okay, so…I just wanted to reiterate that The Boy who lit up…

Katie:  I’m leaving. 

She jumps up from her chair and bolts to the door, just as a knock sounds upon it.  There, in the hall, stands Gabe.

Naomi:  Come in, please Gabe. 

Gabe:  (strides in while eyeing Katie)  I’m late, aren’t I?  Sorry.

He leans over and kisses Naomi on the cheek, his eyes still fixated on Katie.

Katie (swooning and grasping the door frame):  Who in the hell are you?

Gabe:  (shaking Ron and then Luka’s hands)  Gabe.  I’m in book 14.

Katie:  Okay.  I’m staying.

Jim:  Actually, we’re about done here.  I just want to remind everyone that The Boy who Lit up the Sky is FREE everywhere in ebook format, and we’re expecting the audiobook release of The Boy sometime in late March or early April.  Look for it on,, or iTunes.  Meeting adjourned.

Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000026_00029]