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All posts for the month December, 2012

Brand New and only $1.29 – Thad’s Mistakes

Published December 31, 2012 by jnaomiay

A Two Moons of Rehnor Novella

Thad realizes his marriage to Leslie is a colossal mistake. In fact, maybe his whole disastrous life is a giant blunder. Before he knows it, he has two kids and no way out from this trap. Leslie’s exit gives him the opportunity he has been waiting for and so he heads across the stars to join Admiral Tim and Shelly on the planet Rozari.

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Episode 23 – Tag Team in Space – It’s Happy Hour!

Published December 29, 2012 by jnaomiay

“Let’s go get some coffee.”  We emerged from the underground conduits to arrive once again into the synthetic daylight of the Martian space station. Overhead, bright incandescent spots shown down from a fake red sky, their filtered light simulating approximately 5:00PM.

 “Happy hour!” Marshall declared quickly joining the crowd of travelers determined to spend their down time in a bar.  “This place gives you a whole plate of those little bacon wrapped wienies for only two credits as long as you buy at least one pitcher.  The first dancer comes on at 6.  You should get a look at her.  If you do nothing else on Mars, boys, you must see Marla, the Andorian.  When she gets those three giant knockers swinging…”

 “I’m good with that,” Derrick interrupted and followed Marshall.

 “I’m going for coffee,” I announced again loudly.  If they wanted my help, they were going to have to get it on my terms.  I liked those bacon wrapped wienies as much as the next guy and I certainly wasn’t averse to watching a triple-breasted Andorian stripper dance but if the future of the whole Earth was at stake then we needed to get to work, not reserve prime seats for the next show.

 “I want Marla,” the little Martian announced. 

 “No way.  You’re too young.  You were just born like what, four hours ago?”  Derrick turned his back on Fogweet as Marshall paused and gazed at the wall where a huge vid flashed pics of Marla in her various poses.  I considered trying to cover Fogweet’s enormous eyes with my hands but I was too busy covering my own.

 “Martians age quite rapidly.  Fogweet is a teenager now, roughly equivalent to a sixteen year old boy.  Come on, buddy.  I’ll take you into Starbucks and buy you a cherry mocha frappucino with extra whip and sprinkles.”

 “Can I have a whoopie pie too, Uncle Jerry?” the little dude asked, his voice cracking.

 “Sure.”

 “And two large fries from the Golden Arches next door? And a megamundo burrito with eighteen layers? And a bucket of original recipe fried chicken? And …”  I grabbed the Martian’s skinny arm and dragged him into the coffee shop.  Reluctantly, Derrick and Marshall followed. After we got our drinks and some food, we settled at one of those teeny round tables next to the simulated fireplace.

 “Okay Derrick,” I announced though I kept my voice really low so the other patrons wouldn’t hear.  I didn’t really know who or what we were dealing with.  The enemy could be any one, even that fat green doubled headed Beckwad two tables over.  With his extra head, his hearing was practically surround sound.  “This first thing I need you to do is get your C.O.  to contact Spaceforce Command and put me on special assignment.  The Earth is as important to me as the next guy but so is my career.”

 “What?” Derrick asked.

 “I didn’t catch that,” Marshall yelled.  “Are you whispering?”

 “Yes, I’m whispering,” I whispered.

 “What?” Derrick asked again.

 “Why are you whispering in here?  You know, I could really use some whiskey in this coffee.”  Marshall stood up.   “I think I’ll go next door and have them add it.  They don’t have whiskey here in Starbucks, do they?”  Marshall walked off as I leaned over and repeated my request in Derrick’s ear.  Fogweet had finished his drink and jumped up too while explaining he was off to get egg rolls from the Lucky Wok two doors down.  From the corner of my eye, I saw him follow Marshall into the strip joint instead.

 “Ok Jerry,” Derrick agreed pulling out his cell.  “I’ll get my boss right on it.”

 “Thanks.  Now Derrick, I need to know everything.”  Derrick cradled his cup in his hands and composed his thoughts.  He nodded his head slowly.

 “Alright.  It all started about four months ago,” he began.

 “Dr. Waldman?  I’m sorry.  I don’t mean to interrupt but aren’t you Dr. Waldman from the Discovery?”

 With a bit of annoyance, I tore my eyes away from Derrick to look at the girl who was now standing by my side. For a moment, I couldn’t breathe.  Here I was an absolute wreck, stinking, filthy dirty, my uniform not fit to be a wash rag while sitting with a guy equally disastrous, my only comfort being that no one knew me here.  Now, out of nowhere, The Girl appeared.  The Girl had golden blonde curls and deep blue eyes and her own ensign’s uniform was absolute perfection.  We had met on a spaceplane last year, sharing a row of too small seats and since that fateful moment, The Girl, This Girl had consumed my thoughts.

 “Uh Jerry?” Derrick cleared his throat.

 “Derrick,” I coughed. “Um…let me introduce Special Agent Derrick Thomas…Ensign Katie Golden, Spaceforce Academy Graduate of the Year.”

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Win a Kindle Fire or $100 gift card

Published December 21, 2012 by jnaomiay

Join Kindle Book Review, Digitial Book Today, 83 other authors and ME to ring in the best holidays yet.  Just click on the link below to register for the raffle and check out the 84 sponsoring books including The Boy who Lit up the Sky.

To register and participate in the raffle go here:  http://www.thekindlebookreview.net/kindlegiveaway/

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An unlimited supply and it’s all free!

Published December 19, 2012 by jnaomiay

Caissa’s Favor

A Two Moons of Rehnor novella.

Space Cadet Katie Golden is on her way to the Allied Spaceforce Academy when the spaceplane is boarded by Talasian Pirates. Katie is forced to take evasive action to save her treasured chess pieces, the white queen and black king that were given to her years ago by a strange alien boy. Will Katie’s actions doom her career before it even starts? Taking place between Book 1, The Boy who Lit up the Sky and Book 2, My Enemy’s Son, join Katie and her friends on their first adventure in the stars.

FREE FREE FREE Wednesday and Thursday Dec 19 – 20.  Get one, get two, get a copy for every ereader in your house.

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Tag Team in Space continues – Episode 21 – One man’s top secret microchip, another man’s candy

Published December 13, 2012 by jnaomiay

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“Ah, Derrick,” I sighed.  “You sure made a mess of yourself.  Sit down and let me try to patch you up.  Fogweet, go stand over there, little dude.  Maybe you’ll find another one of those pretty lights.”

“Okay Uncle Jerry.”  Fogweet backed away while glancing cautiously at Derrick.  “Man have big owie.”

“Yes, he does, buddy.”  I extracted some anti-septic and sealant from my kit.  “But we’ll fix him up.  Is that an ice cream cone I see down that way?”

“Where?” Fogweet squealed and bolted across the conduit as I swabbed at the tooth marks in Derrick’s arm.

“Well Derrick, I guess you weren’t very tasty.  I’ll put on some sealant and then, I’m going to wrap you up in this bandage.  When you get home, go check in with your family doctor.  You may need some reconstructive work.”

“Thanks Doc.”  Derrick leaned heavily against the wall and let out a long breath.  “I think it’s going to be a while until I get home though.”

“Not too long, I hope,” I replied finishing up and repacking my bag.  “There’s a possibility this guy was caring Martian Rabies.  I’m thinking you should probably start the series of twenty-seven shots just in case.”

“Rabies?”  Derrick choked and his eyes grew wide.  “I can handle knives and guns, Doc, but shots make me faint.  Twenty-seven of them will probably kill me dead.”

“Me too,” Officer Marshall agreed and swiped at his sweaty neck.  “I’m glad that guy didn’t make my arm his lunch.  Hey Doc, any chance you’ve got some more of that rubbing alcohol in your bag?”

“Sorry.  Listen Derrick, I’ve really got to catch the next flight out.  If I don’t make it to the ship by tomorrow, I’ll be AWOL and I don’t even want to think about what that will mean for my career.  I’m going to head back upstairs and I suggest you do too.  If you start to have hallucinations or feel dizzy get yourself to a medic quickly and start those shots.  Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure Doc.”  Derrick kneaded his own sweaty forehead.  “You sure you don’t want to hang around here a little longer and keep an eye on me yourself?  I mean, you know better than me and Marshall what Martian Rabies look like.”

“Sorry,” I said again and handed Derrick a prescription for antibiotics and pain killers.  “I’ll be at the gate for a little while.  I think the next flight isn’t for another hour or so.  Ring or text me if you get worried but chances are he wasn’t rabid.  He didn’t drool or have really bad breath, did he?”

“Bad breath?” Derrick squeaked.

“Probably nothing,” I reiterated.  “My cell number is on that script.  Call me if you need me.”

“Is this in English?  I can’t read anything here.  Do they purposely teach you how to write unintelligibly in med school?” Derrick mumbled when suddenly, Fogweet came running up the conduit.

“Uncle Jerry!  No ice cream cones down there but Fogweet find something else!”

“What is it, little buddy?” I asked as he jumped around, his luminescent head excitedly pulsing yellow light and reflecting off the dark walls of the shaft.

“Fogweet find candy!”  He held out his hand to display a tiny gold square and was just about to pop it in his mouth when Derrick launched himself at it.  “Mine!” Fogweet roared and flashed his dozens of tiny sharp teeth.

“Give it to me!” Derrick screamed.  “That’s a chip, you idiot, not candy!”

“Mine,” Fogweet declared again and swallowed the chip.  “Yummy.”

“Uh oh,” Officer Marshall mumbled.  “I’m not going to hang around to watch it come out the other end.”

“Give it back!”  Derrick wrapped his arms around Fogweet’s tiny neck causing the Martian’s big head to lob from side to side.  “Either spit it out or Uncle Jerry is going to cut it out.  Get your scalpel ready, Doc.”

“Nuh uh,” Fogweet growled and his head started to glow red hot.  “My candy, right Uncle Jerry?”

“Hey, keep me out of this.  One man’s top secret microchip is another man’s candy.”  I swung my kit over my shoulder and headed toward the stairs.  “Don’t be a stranger, Derrick.  Email me some time.”

“Fogweet live with Uncle Jerry!” the Martian let out a plaintive cry and wrestled away from Derrick.  He barreled down the conduit and leaped on my back, once again threading his sticky fingers through my hair.

“Get back here you little Big Head!” Derrick raged racing after us.  “Stop!”  A moment later, I found myself once again on the floor, flattened beneath Fogweet and Derrick.  While they wrestled above me, Marshall nervously paced the tiny corridor, his hands trembling from lack of nicotine.

“I’m going to miss the last flight out tonight, aren’t I?” I asked no one in particular, my head jammed against the cement.

“Looks that way, Doc,” Marshall replied.  “You sure you don’t have anything else in your bag I can drink?  Maybe one of those tiny little hotel bottles of gin?  Whiskey?  Vodka?  Light beer?”

Awesome and incredible author interview: J. Naomi Ay

Published December 5, 2012 by jnaomiay

Today I am participating in a Blog Tour, the requirements of which are to conduct an interview with myself.  As you all know, I am a very proficient interviewer  and interviewee so I am looking forward to this stimulating conversation with myself.   I have gathered my coffee and morning protein bar, settled myself comfortably at my desk and will proceed now to the interview.

 Naomi:  Good morning, Naomi.  How are you?

Naomi:  I’m great, Naomi.  How are you?

Naomi:  Super.  Now that we’ve got our mood established, let’s begin the interview.  Can you tell me what is the working title of your newest book?

Naomi:  Oh Naomi, I am so glad you asked.  Currently, I am working on Book 8 of the Two Moons of Rehnor series.  It doesn’t have a title as none of my books do until I finish them and try to remember what they are about.

Naomi:  You don’t remember what our books are about when you finish them? 

Naomi:  Not really.  Having so many characters doing so many different things, it’s hard to keep track of what’s what.

Naomi:  Have you thought of outlining?  Keeping notes?  Drawing a graph?

Naomi:  I think of a lot of things, none of which are on that list.  (Phone rings)  Excuse me, I need to take this.  Hello?  Yes, this is Naomi.  What?  No, I don’t know anything about waste to energy machines.  Yes, this is the correct phone number.  Oh!  Hold on.  (Naomi puts hand over receiver).  Naomi, could this call be for you?  They want to talk about some kind of recycling machine.

 Naomi:  Yes, give that to me!  Hi, this is Na…actually, this is Naomi but it’s also someone else.  Yes, that’s right, we distribute revolutionary alternative fuel systems.  Yeah, but see Naomi is my middle name.  Well, I only use it when referring to my books.  It’s a pen name, you know.  Why?  Well because I don’t want to go to the local Safeway and have people look at me and whisper behind their hand that I’m that crazy woman who writes those fantasy stories about that weird guy with the silver eyes who does cool stuff and…what?  Yeah, I know he needs to do more cool stuff.  My husband complained that in the last few books he was just sitting around, drinking beer and watching too much football.  Who?  No, not my husband, well yes my husband and that guy.  Yeah, the one with the silver eyes in the books…so did you want to hear about the recycling systems?  Ok.  I’ll call you back later.  Bye.  Now, Naomi, back to my book…er…your book.  Can you just answer the questions so we can get this over with?

Naomi:  Ok.  Go for it.

 Naomi:  Where did the idea come from for your book?

Naomi:  What idea?

 Naomi:  We were talking about your current WIP.  Where did you get the bloody idea for it?

Naomi:  Oh, right, I remember now.  My friend suggested it.  Oh, and that thing about Senya, the weird guy with silver eyes, not doing enough cool stuff.  I’ll make certain he does plenty of cool stuff in this one.

 Naomi:  Good.  What genre does your book fall under?

Naomi:  Nutrition and Health.   Ha ha!  That’s a joke.  Just kidding.  It’s a sci-fi/fantasy.

 Naomi:  (sighing heavily)  Which actors would you choose to play in your movie rendition?

 Naomi:  Hmm…Um…there aren’t any that I know that have silver eyes so I guess nobody could do it.  We could make a cartoon.  That’d be kind of cool.

Naomi:  No, it wouldn’t.  What is the one sentence synopsis of your book?

Naomi:  Katie’s going to be less self-centered and bitchy and Senya’s going to do more cool stuff.

Naomi:  That’s the plot?

Naomi:  No, that’s just what happens.

Naomi:  That’s not enough!  You can’t write a whole novel about Katie being a bitch and Senya doing cool stuff.

Naomi:  Why not?  I wrote 7 others like that and my reviewers say my plots are excellent.

Naomi:  (Heavy sigh)  Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

Naomi:  What does an agency do?

 Naomi:  How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

Naomi:  Which one?  The original?  Twenty-five years.  The current one?  Five weeks.

 Naomi:  What other books would you compare this story to?

Naomi:  Golden’s Quest- The Two Moons of Rehnor, Book 6.  It’s also a little bit like Of Blood and Angels, The Two Moons of Rehnor, Book 3.

Naomi:  Who or what inspired you to write the book?

Naomi:  The voices in my head.  It was the only way to shut them up.

Naomi:  What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

Naomi:  Steven and Hannah are going to get it on but not like in the 50 shades kind of way.

Naomi:  That’s great.  Thank you very much, Naomi.  It was a pleasure interviewing me today.  To find out more about me and my books, you can find us online right here or check out our website at www.jnaomiay.com.

 To continue this blog hop, be sure to visit my friends at their blogs one week from today:

S.I. Hayes  http://shannonihayes.wix.com/sihayes#!blog/c14xx

Bette A. Stevens  http://www.4writersandreaders.wordpress.com/

Ahmad Taylor http://ahmaddarkside.blogspot.com/