Reader Interview: Zortran

Published September 5, 2012 by jnaomiay

Today I have the distinct pleasure of interviewing Zortran who is our first volunteer to submit to a reader interview.  He is sitting in our lovely and loving chair awaiting my questions.

Naomi: Are you comfortable Zortran? 

Zortran: Yes, thanks Naomi, very.

Naomi:  Excellent. Let’s get started.  Is that your real name and if not, why won’t you tell me your real name?

Zortran: (Clears throat) It’s none of your business.  Is Naomi your real name:?

Naomi:  As real as Zortran, perhaps more so.  Moving on…let’s start with just a brief synopsis of your favorite book.  In 20 words or less, tell me what it is about.

Zortran:  It’s about this dude who’s got like super natural powers and he’s like totally from a different planet and can do like everything and besides that he like a total chick magnet.

Naomi:  Would you happen to be referring to my book, The Boy who Lit up the Sky?

Zortran:  Um…no.  I was actually referring to my favorite Superman Comic book.

Naomi:  (exhaling loudly)  Comic book?  Alright, no worries.  We’ll continue.  If this character, ahem…Superman, called you up tomorrow and said, “Hey, let’s go do something.”  What and where would you go with him?

Zortran: We’d go to my basement and we’d all spread out on the rug and my buddies would all come over and we’d play League of Legends on our laptops.  We’d probably make some popcorn and drink a lot of soda and if we got really hungry we’d probably dive into the Easy Mac’s or roast a frozen pizza.

Naomi:  And you think Superman would like to do this?

Zortran:  Yeah, sure why not?

Naomi:  How do you roast a pizza?

Zortran:  You put it on the barbeque and make sure that the fire doesn’t turn it into toast.  Actually, the superdude could probably roast it with his x-ray vision.  That would be way cool.

Naomi:  Gotcha.  Alright then, moving on, do you do anything else besides read and if so what is it?

Zortan:  Uh yeah.  I play League of Legends and Warcraft and sometimes Starcraft.  Actually, I’d do all of those things before I would read.

Naomi:  Why don’t I find that surprising?  Do you read at all, other than the comic book?

Zortran:  Sure.  Sometimes there’s things and like, you know, dialogue on the screen during the game that I have to read.  Also, we have all these chat boxes open and I have to like read them and still keep track of what I’m doing at the same time.

Naomi:  Why do you have chat boxes when you are all just sitting there in the basement together?  Why can’t you just chat with your mouth?

Zortran:  Nobody does that.  That’s lame.

Naomi:  What’s the ugliest thing in your closet?

Zortran:  Hah.  That’s easy, my little sister.  I locked her in there about 4 years ago.  She’s gotten really ugly since then.

Naomi:  (standing up)  Yes, well, thank you for that, Zortran.  This concludes our first reader interview.  I’ll be leaving now and yes..well, good luck with that. 

If you are a reader and would like to be interviewed and have your words immortalized for all time here and searchable by all the search engines across the web, please send me an email.

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