Naomi: Today, Amy Metz and I are sitting in a diner somewhere off of route 73. It’s about 195 degrees outside and I’m starting to question my lifelong desire to visit the Elvis Museum in Pigeon Forge. Amy just ordered a plate of fried green tomatoes which I gather we are supposed to eat before they turn red. In the meantime, while they are frying, we’ll have a little chat about Amy’s new book “Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction.” Let’s start with just a brief synopsis of your book. In 20 words or less, tell me what it is about.
Amy: When Tess tries to solve a seventy-five-year-old murder, murder & mayhem ensue in this humorous southern mystery.
Naomi: (fanning myself with the laminated plastic menu) Very good, Amy. Is Goose Pimple Junction anywhere near Pigeon Forge?
Amy: Well, no. It’s fictional.
Naomi: What about Turkey Crossing or Ducktown?
Amy: No, but it’s not far from Blue Goose Bucksnort, and Bugscuffle.
Naomi: I bet. Bugscuffle. Anyway, geez it’s hot. Who is your favorite character and why? You can use more than 20 words from here on out. Frankly, we’ve got all day. Use the whole dictionary. It’s cooler in here than outside for sure.
Amy: If you mean my favorite character in Murder & Mayhem In Goose Pimple Junction, then I would have to say Louetta. She is full of life, fun to be with, a great cook, a wonderful mother, grandmother, and friend, and she owns a bookstore. She never met a stranger, and her knowledge of goosepimpleisms is extensive.
Naomi: Goosepimpleisms? Do they offer a degree in that at the University of Ducktown? Maybe you can minor in it when you major in Ancient Poultry Studies. Let’s say Louetta called you up tomorrow and said, “Hey, let’s go do something.” What and where would you go with her?
Amy: We would probably go to Slick & Junebug’s Diner to eat fried green tomatoes and drink sweet tea. And we’d have to have a piece of Slick’s lemon meringue pie. Or peach pie. Or cherry. Or chocolate…
Naomi: Do you want some pie, Amy?
Amy: Is a pig’s butt pork? Of course I want pie. Don’t you?
Naomi: If it’s a pork pie, no. I suddenly have a strong desire to keep kosher. If you had to pick one object to represent your story and one color to paint it in, what would it be and why? A purple octopus? An orange hula hoop?
Amy: It would be a gold key.
Naomi: Ok. I was thinking more along the lines of a red goose with a white head, a little pimple joke there, but it’s your story.
Amy: I know. A key is boring, but it’s kind of central to the plot. Maybe I could work in a polka dot goose somewhere into the story.
Naomi: I’m certain that would add a whole new dimension. Do you do anything else besides write and if so what is it?
Amy: I love photography, and I love to bake. Not at the same time though.
Naomi: What’s the ugliest thing in your closet and don’t tell me it’s just like that dress that woman over there is wearing?
Amy: (Amy turns around and looks) I like that dress! This might be cheating, but it’s the truth. The ugliest thing in my closet is my grandmother’s old turquois housecoat. I found it when my mother moved, and I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away. I vividly remember my grandmother wearing it, so I brought it home and put it in my closet. I love it, but it is pretty ugly.
Naomi: Don’t worry. I won’t ding you for cheating. Does it ever cool down here? No? What’s in the bottom of your purse, backpack, attaché or whatever you carry?
Amy: Loose change, and a bunch of sales receipts.
Naomi: Come on. There must be something illicit down there. Show us the REAL Amy.
Amy: (shaking out her purse) Nope.
Naomi: Are we anywhere near Mayberry?
Amy: No. Would a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey in my purse make you happy?
Naomi: Actually no, but we won’t go there.
Amy: Too bad. I don’t have it anyway. I used to carry underwear in my purse though. Oh, don’t look at me like that. I did that when my kids were little. You’re a mom. I’ll bet you carried undies around in case of an accident too.
Naomi: Were they for you or the kids? Name one character in your book that reminds you of a real person and tell us who it is and how they are similar.
Amy: P.D. (short for Psalmist David,) who is Maye’s brother, and Louetta’s uncle, reminds me of my grandfather. They’re similar because the things P.D. does in the book are things my grandfather did in real life.
Naomi: What’s your favorite game? No wait. Let me guess. Horseshoes? Would your favorite character play it and be any good at it?
Amy: Right now my favorite game is Words With Friends. I’ll bet Louetta would be great at it. She’s never at a loss for words!
Naomi: Did you ever wonder if you were a little crazy for writing fiction?
Amy: No, I never wonder. I know I’m crazy.
Naomi: That’s real good, Amy. Really good. Did your friends ever wonder the same thing?
Amy: No. They’re well aware of the fact too. Of course, most of my friends are imaginary. I rest my case.
Naomi: Okay. I see your imaginary friends too, Amy. I really do. Hello everyone. (Naomi smiles and slowly rises to her feet.) I think I’ll pass on the Elvis Museum today and go catch my imaginary plane back to the not so imaginary Pacific Northwest where we write about vampires and werewolves instead of geese and chickens and we don’t keep underwear in our purses. The rest of you can find out more about Amy on line at:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/goosepimpleisms (@goosepimpleisms)
Book trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vIbieSgVjk